Three Haifa Homesickness Hyper Haikus

Sunday in Lambeth

Looking from the bridge at Sail St. 8

Was out drinking all night now I can't see straight

Been doing the prat walk in Pratt Walk

From midnight till dawn

Now I'm navigating Juxon St. on my own

Falling and stumbling and Brexit my bones

*

Sunday in Lambeth in the rain

I wish I could be in Haifa again

*

The tiny tunnel with its bicycle lanes

Pimlico Plumbers could not fix my pains

I use Corner Café's wi-fi

Wishing I were in Haifa

A red double decker promotes Disney's Aladdin

I'm just looking for an umbrella

To put my head in

It's raining on Lambeth, I'm feeling like shit

I wish I could be in Ha'Ir Ha'Takhtit

*

Midnight in Seattle

I'm in my rental on WA-99

Port of Seattle NEXT RIGHT says the sign

Nah say I, not to the port

I am on a search for coffee support

*

Who puts an alehouse opposite a baseball field?

Are they mad in Seattle with their fish and their gills?

You got it right – I'm not a baseball fan

I am from Haifa, that's who I am!

Now brew me a coffee you waitressing scam

And take back the order of green eggs and ham.

*

Realnetworks reminds me of Matam, but it's merely ersatz

Dream Girls reminds me of Lev HaMifratz

Seattle you turn out to be such a bore

I wish I were in Haifa once more

*

The espresso is good in Coffee Tree

But I'd rather be sitting at Gal's Bakery

And when morning comes to take my Momma

To have coffee with me at Paz Romema.

*

Honolulu Ennui

Waikiki? Because I can!

Marco polo, eat your Mongol spam

I travel on a whim, without a plan

I take wing; I fly, therefore I am

I orient on the fly; I urinate in the sea

My fly is always open; I'm bursting at the seams

*

Hawaii am I here? God only knows

It seems like a place where no coffee grows

King Kamehameha Statue is merely a rock

The Smiling Devil Piercing Shop is not for my cock

*

And so I find myself on Kalakaua Avenue

You said that I should go there, or haven't you?

This place is just as jolly as an auto-da-fé

I wish I could be now in Kiosk Café.

There is Prada, Swarovski, and Louis Vuitton

But I've got Yefe Nof where I am from

Take all your plazas and your branch of Kate Spade

I'm going back to Louis Promenade

*

Your palms and your sun, Waikiki, holy crap

Honolulu, you're nothing but an effing tourist trap!

Checking out of Hilton Garden Inn

On my way back to Hof HaStudentim.

Erez Asherov

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